I’ve put off writing this blog post for a while, because words really can’t describe the amount of fun that was a 14 day all-inclusive cruise from Panama to Portugal compromised of 1/3 backpackers, 1/3 old people and 1/3 large Venezuelan families.
If you’ve traveled with me or know me as a friend, you know the story of the cruise and how I can’t really finish a sentence about it without laughing. But for those of you who I haven’t gone on about this cruise to, basically Pullmantur cruise lines is an actual legitimate cruise ship line that runs really cheap trans-atlantic cruises twice a year. The reasoning for this is because they need to bring one of their ships across the Atlantic during hurricane season, so the cruise is only one-way and it’s really long with no stops. They are called repositioning cruises. In backpacker terms, it works out to something like 28$/day before tipping the staff. In some cases, this is cheaper then actually flying to Europe.
It’s really hard to write about this cruise in a public blog post, because most of what made it so fun was the people. There was the amazing group of people that I ate dinner with every night and then there were also the hundreds of other passengers on board whose stories and personalities played out in front of us over time because, unlike a hostel, you kept seeing the same people over and over… everyday.. for 14 days. Things got very weird.
The truth is, words will never do justice to the ridiculousness that was this cruise, but I will try with a few stories.
I think we’d been at sea for a long time when this happened, but basically my friend Alex came to me and said “I saw flying fish.” and I said, “No you did not,” because we’d been at sea for a while and it just seemed absurd to me. Then I told everyone else, “Alex thinks that he saw flying fish.” and for an hour everyone was like “Alex, you didn’t see flying fish.” Whelp, finally we all went to the side of the boat to see the flying fish and what do you know…. there are fish coming out of the water, gliding in the air, and then going back in the sea. Alex was right and we all saw flying fish. Sorry Alex.
That Time they Played “I’m On a Boat”
Again, I am challenged in my writing skills to fully describe the madness that was the night life of this cruise. First of all, it’s all backpackers who really just don’t care. Why should they? Backpacking is such a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you really don’t want to sit on the sidelines. Then, you have large Venezuelan families who equally just don’t care. Combine these two groups at the Cyan Disco, where the dance floor is literally rocking back and forth with the motion of the waves and the alcohol is, as was always the case, free and flowing.
One night in particular, the incredible DJs of Pullmantur decided to play “I’m on a Boat” and everyone lost it. All the guys took off their shirts. People were jumping and screaming. The poor staff was forced to tell everyone to put back on their shirts or they would stop the music.
Another fun one was “Young, Wild and Free” by Snoop Dogg and Wix Khalifa. So dumb, yes, but there’s nothing like dancing when everyone is actually into it and the enthusiasm was ssstttrrooonnggg with this crowd.
Pulling into Lisbon
The last night on the ship, we went up to the top deck to watch the sunset. Since we’d already all gone out the night before on an all bar bar crawl (we went to every place that served alcohol on the ship in one night), we decided to all get some sleep so we could wake up at 4 AM to see the boat finally pull into Lisbon, Portugal.
Sure enough, as we made it to the top deck at 4 AM, it was a mix of people who were still drunk and looked like The Walking Dead and people who were sober and in need of coffee. We’d all been at sea 14 days and it felt like a lot had happened in that short period of time, but the People of Pullmantur weren’t ready to stop being ridiculous just yet.
As Lisbon got closer and closer and the sun began to rise, it became clear we were going to have to go under a bridge to get to port. Now, the bridge wasn’t small. It was a big bridge. It was clear this would not be an issue. The cruise ship would go under it no problem. Regardless, when we finally made it underneath the bridge everyone watching from the deck exploded with cheers. Some people behind us started chanting “Brazil!, Brazil!, Brazil!” very loudly. Hell, I was even clapping and cheering. It was awesome. Our journey on the boat was ending and here we all were, at the top deck in the middle of the ocean watching Europe come into view. My friend Edward had brought champagne for all of us and we all said cheers. We’d made it to land and wifi.